Dramatic Attempt

Reading through article after article of Hyperbole and A Half I am starting to feel like this attempt is stupid and childish. I will never be successful at this and since I've tried twice already I may end up quitting because of how embarrassed I feel at people reading what I write.

In truth I tried this again as a way of stress relief as I feel like I'm losing more and more control of my life and even worse, my sanity and emotional stability. Honestly, I'm a wreck most of the time. Absolutely broken, people wonder at why I never hang out with them, its because I physically cannot force myself to leave my house to see people who call me friends because they absolutely must be lying to me because saying they hate me would be more awkward and less fun than messing with me making me trust them with years of work and then tearing me apart on the inside and leaving me half dead all because I decided to open up to them.

I'm tired of feeling like this broken toy that I am, and I'm trying to take steps to live in the real world but I'm not sure it will ever work. If you've ever read Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse then you may have an insight into my head. Stranger In A Strange Land by 30 Seconds To Mars works too. I don't know why I'm wasting my time here anyways, I'll never have followers on even the three digit range. I'm not a good enough writer, I'm not creative, I'm not funny and I'm not worth reading about. And one more thing I'm not, I'm not looking for sympathy here, just a release.

Like maybe now a few people that I wouldn't have dreamed of telling know a little more about how I'm doing when I say I'm fine. I'm closer to suicidal than fine most of the time. The only reason I'm not is because I know how irrationally sad people are with death and I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience or a stressor or a disappointment by taking my own life.

There you go people, my dramatic attempt. Did you like it?