I Am Sorry

I haven't posted in...okay since Saturday but I still feel bad about it, I'll put out a new post tomorrow I promise. Hmmmm, or I have a better idea. I will try to explain why I haven't written a post and maybe it will turn out funny. I won't be hurt if you do not read on.

Seriously, go ahead and don't read this part.

God! I'm serious, this will be weird and probably incredibly random, there may be multiple references to things you have never heard of (like Hyperbole and A Half) or have forgotten about years ago (Nick Arcade).

Are you seriously still reading this shit? Wow, well I guess that's a stupid question since anyone I am writing to is obviously still reading or they wouldn't know I'm saying this. Actually I got the idea for this section from a book I had as a kid. It was a Kenan and Kel themed book entitled Kel Got Game(I hated the grammar of that title even when i was little, i always wondered is there a reason he's got and doesn't have game? is there something that I don't understand or is my 5 year old brain more powerful than theirs') and near the beginning was written,

" 'If no one was reading this right now, would we still be here?'

'I don't know, Kel. THat is actually a very good question. Let's find out.'

'But, Kenan. How do you find out? I mean, what if we disappear and never come back?'

'Hey you! Yeah, that's right, you readidng the book right now. Don't look around, of course I'm talking to you. How many people are reading this right now?'

'Kenan, it's okay really. We don't--'

'Kel, don't be so rude. Can't you see I'm talking to that reader right now? Sorry for the interruption, reader. Now listen, we need you to do us a favor. Kind of an experiment. We need you to shut this book and then open it back up. That way we can see whether or not we are still here when no one is still reading. So go ahead close the book, now... I said close the book. Look, buddy, we're not going on with the rest of the story until you cooperate. So if you ever want to get past this Open, you'd better close that book right now. I mean it...I'm not kidding...I'm---Oh, that's better.'"

Wasn't that interesting, well essentially, it's a dramatic tool usable by breaking the fourth wall in an unrealistic sort of way as if the author or characters in a book, television show or movie can predict your responses and act in a way to reflect the expected. This sort of an effect is also represented in...you don't care, do you. If you want to know more about this email me or message me onFacebook about it, otherwise I'm moving on.

Sorry about that, i honestly have no idea why I thought it was necessary to search for a book I enjoyed as a child and copy down a page and a half of the large font so you could read it to understand somethiong I did that probably would have been funnier if I hadn't and this is a really long sentence, I'm sure it's horrible grammar and should have ended ages ago but what's the fun of ramblin g if the grammar is correct and now I'm starting to think that there was a point to this post...-Richard scrolls up to read top- oh shit. I'm sorry about that. I was supposed to be explaining why I have not written a blog post.

Well, I could give some bull about being too busy to do so(which i was, I worked Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) but in all honesty I was just too ADD to do it this weekend...or today even as you can tell. I was like, hey, some people read this so I should probably update it -goes online and goes to You Tube and sets up a queue so I can write some hopefully funny shit that will make you wait eagerly for another post in the near future and then realizes I don't know the lead singer of Florence and The Machine's name...it was Florence by the way, who could've guessed? Obviously not me. You people who thought I was oh so smart in high school. TAKE THAT! I'M NOT SO SMART! and then I would notice that my dog looks really adorable and I should play with him and it takes like half an hour to convince him to play with me...What the hell? He was trying to get me to play with him not an hour ago and now he's being stubborn. Stupid little annoying adorable cute scruffy awesome dog...where was I going with this? I have no idea anymore...I really should be trying to actually write instead of just aimlessly rambling on these things...and then I look and see the blog page open and think screw it I want doritos-

That is what I am fighting with on a day to day basis, a good day in fact. On a bad day I cannot keep a train of thought longer than about three seconds. It's really rather bothersome...once I snap out of it and realize what is happening.

I should probably start taking my attention deficit disorder medication again but I found out it actually gave me nerve damage. NERVE DAMAGE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I CANNOT PAY ATTENTION TO SCHOOL SO MY DOCTOR GIVES ME THIS AND NOW I AM UNABLE TO STEADY MY HANDS EVER AGAIN?!?!?!?

Sigh, it actually goes in and out, there was actually a two day period, and I'm glad my parents were out of town but my hands were shaking so hard that I couldn't hold a glass of water. I actually cried to tell the truth. I thought I had like, early onset Parkinsons Disease or something. It was like, the worst two days of my life. After thirty minutes of trying to dial a phone for help(second day) from my best friend's parents I gave up and just stuck my head under the tap in the sink so I could ddrink something. I was just so thirsty, it had been like, a day and a half and I needed something to drink. I didn't care about food, i just wanted to know more about Parkinsons or other...shaking disorcers and wanted to know if I was dying and wished that I had set up my phone for voice recognition... I went off on a tangent again...

Sorry about that, I keep doing that to you, you know what, If you have read this far you are probably laughing your asses off at how random this is so I'm not apologizing again for this randomness. In fact, this post is rather long. Hmmm, this is random but I think it's awesome so I will show you...



That is a dog bed made of three blankets, a sheet, four pillows, a dog bed, and a fluffy Harry Potter blanket I gave to my dog to sleep either on or under depending on the weather. Although when it's even slightly cold my dog gets up and walks over to me(as he sleeps on a bed...that is on my bed) and scratches at me until I open up the blanket and let him in and then he gets as close as possible to me and then pushes with all his might to actually push himself into me. It would probably be funny if he were not so annoying as it is five in the morning gah

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I think I have made my point as to why ADD has kept me from posting.