I Have Arisen To a New Level of Being

So, if the title didn't tell you, I am officially a god now. There is no other way to explain my amazing epicness... of awesomeness...and a little more epicness. I demand human sacrifice(Justin Bieber and be quick about it) and will require priestesses. These priestesses should be beautiful and incredibly awesome, i think they should be able to sing or dance or play an instrument but I'll get back to you on that.

My day of worship shall be Friday for that is when The feat that elevated me to the level of godhood took place. Let all remember that their god became such on Friday, October eighth, 2010. This shall be my holiest day and you shall be my chief disciples and missionaries. You must attract many followers to hear me speak and read my work for my blog is made up of the thoughts of the divine.

Now you may be wondering what this amazing feat, this trial of excellency and power was. This grand deed was no less wondrous than that of any god who came before me. Let it be known from this day that I am a god because on a whim, I was able to tear a phone book in half. Before you faint from fear you must remember that you are my disciples and I shall not exercise my wrath upon you. But there will be wrath, I'm coming for you John Travolta, I now have the market cornered on nonsensical religions.

ps. The previous post may be considered incredibly blasphemous and should not have been read by followers of other(real) religions

pps. I do not apologize for this post

ppps. I doubt you believe my amazing feat but I have pictures of the phone book after i ripped it. In half. Don't be afraid if witnessing the end result of this feat makes you want to have sex with me, that is natural.





pppps.I probably shouldn't mention readers probably wanting to have sex with me as I doubt any of my readers as of now would and I know for sure I would not. No offense. Seriously, for guys err no, for girls I've known both of you much too long for that thought to ever come into my head.